It was the early 1990’s. Disney’s Pocahontas was out in cinemas- and a wide eyed little girl strode out the theatre, Colours of the Wind trembling the floor beneath her feet, her brain almost imploding at the wonderment of what she’d just witnessed…
People actually lived like that?
In rolling landscapes of mountains, forests, and oceans- gardens overflowing with food, and having a respect for nature unlike anything I’d ever seen till then…
This was- well, had been a thing?
My little brain didn’t even care if it was. It fascinated me. This was the world I wanted for my life!
(Animal sidekicks included)
But the movie had also opened up my eyes to another world. Mine.
A place so hellbent on advancing, it didn’t care who or what it destroyed in its way. And how as I grew older, the more my life was being moulded for it…
All I wanted was to just be.
But everyone else wanted me to be something.
Instead, I became nothing.
Years of depression and anxiety sent the direction of my life’s compass into a never-ending tail spin- where I didn’t just give up on my dream, but myself too.
But nature didn’t give up on me…
In my lowest times, I always found comfort being out in the morning sun, bundled up in blankets with a warm, sweet tea.
A brilliantly coloured leaf would stick to my boot and make me smile- reminding me, if only for a moment, I still could.
And a dream, that kept drifting me back to calmer moments- of mountains, and gardens, and a little home lost in nature.
Which earlier this year, actually came true!
It was something my fiance and I had talked about many times…
We we’re tired of working our butts off to pay for things we barely had time to enjoy-
We wanted a life where we could stop to smell the roses. To appreciate and enjoy things, rather than mindlessly jump from moment to moment.
And, to be self-sustainable. Hooray for no more bills!
We’d taken a step closer a few years back- barely sleeping a wink all summer to save as much as we could to buy a little piece of land.
The plan had been to do it up before finally moving over- but with work, we couldn’t find the time!
Then, in the winter of last year I had gotten very sick. I went through one of the worst, and longest depressive and anxiety episodes I’d ever had.
So we decided to- well, just go.
And by the spring, we were on the road with our entire life in the back of a van!
Why I moved in with nature went beyond making a little kid wet herself with excitement at having her dreams come true-
Or getting rid of bills…
It meant that by doing so, I was finally honouring myself and my wants and needs in life, and that I was beginning to believe in myself enough to go after them!
So when I gazed out across our land for the first time, felt the soil beneath my feet and wind blast my face as it ripped through the mountains- for the first time in a long time, I finally felt that I was on the right track.
Have you ever thought about living in nature?