I almost can’t believe it’s coming up half a year since we swapped the urban jungle for a self-sustainable life in the mountains!
Yeah, I’m a tad early in celebrating… One, because I’ll probably have forgotten by the actual day-
And two, today marks an eye-opening reminder as to how much has changed since this very same day last year…
Where I wrote one of the most heart-wrenching, self-hating journal entries about myself, that frightened me so much, I ended up burning it, The only bit of writing I could bring myself to look at on the slowly curling pages in the flames was the date.
A date that is now burned into my mind as the lowest point of one of the most horrific depression and anxiety episodes I’d ever had.
So writing it out at the top of my journal page this morning brought back some pretty hard-hitting moments of the torment, hopelessness, and overwhelming want to no longer exist that filled the dingy basement flat I’d left behind just a year ago-
The sleepless nights, self-harming, hatred- flashed through my head like a reel on a slot machine…
Till a sudden BLAAAH echoed around the mountain side from a nearby goat and snapped me back to where I was now.
Still struggling, but happier than I’ve ever felt- about to write a journal entry on inspiring more positivity into my day.
So I decided to make that entry about the force that’s helped make that possible (despite my kicking and screaming), from all the weird and wonderful things that’s been happening since I became nature’s room-mate…
Here’s what I wrote…
How Nature has Nourished My Life:
Being around its beauty in such a breath-taking and immersive way, has helped me become much more present in the moment.
Reminding me, through a dusty pink and gold sunrise, the succulent softness of ripened fruit freshly picked from the branch- to take time to slow down, and really see what’s happening around me.
Which is something that’s now being carried into how I treat myself too.
Hand in hand with mindfulness, often comes awareness, and hanging out with nature has made me much more aware of how I treat myself, and how this affects others and the world around me.
As I’m working on the land- I’ve started noticing more and more how everything is interconnected; how everything serves a purpose, and how imbalanced things can become if we upset these ecosystems.
Which I’m beginning to understand within myself too.
The soothing softness of soil on skin, the cleansing freshness of the air after a downpour, or swinging on the breeze in a hammock-
Nature keeps showing me lots of little ways to savour these small moments, using them to rest, recharge, and restore balance to my day…
Pushes me out my comfort zone:
I think the most obvious example for this one would be the bug phobia…
How I went from hurling anything within immediate reach at the poor, confused creepy-crawly… (I’m talking about things like butterflies here too)
To now, having interacting with them so much on a daily basis, I’m starting to come around…Just don’t ask me to touch them!
We actually had a big mantis live in our kitchen for a while we named Monk. I even fed it a few times following a failed fly hunt over the compost bin.
That’s progress right?!
What else is progress is the matches staying safely away in the drawer this year, and having a journal post I’m actually looking forward to re-reading again-
Who knows what this list might be this time next year!
How about you- what ways has nature nourished your life? If it hasn’t, could it?